Existentialism Made Easy!

I decided to submit an article to WikiHow. Too bad my article is getting deleted as I type. Oh well, here it is (was).

How to Exist

Are you having and existential Crisis? Well, this article aims to show you how to exist in three simple steps.

Steps

1. Be born. This is an important step; it's kind of hard to be a part of the natural world without being born.
2. Be alive. Hello and welcome to Earth. It's a nice place to live.
3. Repeat Step 2 as long as possible.


Tips

* Don't die. You can't live if you're dead. Here's a simple acronym to remember how not to die: B.F.D.S.D.B.M.E.
B.- Breathe. Your body needs oxygen to survive. The lack of oxygen inevitably leads to the lack of life, so remember to inhale and exhale air.
F.- Feed your self. The entire homeostasis of your body depends on energy. Where does energy come from? Food, of course! Food to stay away from: anything poisonous and human flesh (cannibalism is frowned upon, unless you're in a remote cannibal tribe where that is cool, then it's alright.)
D.- Drink water. The human body is more than 70% water, so you kind of need it to survive.
S.- Sharp objects. Yeah, they're bad and usually lead to injury and/or death. Try to avoid poking yourself with them as much as possible.
D. Diseases. Diseases lead to death, so try to avoid places that look like incubators for diseases: old food, raw meat, rabid animals, mold, cesspools, Paris Hilton, etc.
B.- Blood. When blood comes out of you, it's usually a bad thing. Once you start bleeding, seek out immediate attention (i.e. band-aides or a hospital).
M. Moderation. As with most things in life, moderation is key. Don't be a glutton and remember that there's a limit to the stuff you can ingest or be exposed to.
E.- Etcetera. The human creature learns and can reason. Use your brain and determine what is and what isn't a good decision in living. Don't be stupid. There's countless ways to die, and I can't put them all here; but you should be able to logically determine what is benign or not, if there's a failure to do so on your part, well, that's just Darwinism.


Warnings

* See B.F.D.S.D.B.M.E.

Yay for old essays!

So, I'm still too lazy to write anything new, and I decided to post an essay I wrote for a contest. It's kind of lame but oh well.

Opportune Changes

     The human creature adapts: we age, we mature, and we continue to change until we are inevitably changed back into our most basic components. It can be said that change is a natural occurrence, so why is it that we so vehemently protest change?
     The human mentality tends to contradict this “natural” change; it is the fear that we no longer control what we once knew, and it is the fear that we are powerless against our own lives that drives us to confine ourselves into a stagnant system within ourselves. So, we build a inert world where we believe the natural occurrences are sterilized to the random and minor inconveniences that tend to accompany the untamable, wild aspects of nature. Yet this construct world of sterility is shattered when one completely insignificant yet significant break occurs. This break usually is undetected, unavoidable, or even unnoticeable, but its ramifications alter the world of the one affected. The ramparts built to avoid the occurrences of change crumble under the weight of the uncontrollable. No longer are we the gods of our own fate. We are, instead, helpless children picked on by that big kid called life. It is in these moments that the opportunity at freedom arises.
     The ability to change is the ability to live, and adaptation is the source of this freedom. Though we cannot control the breaks in our world, we can change our world to fit the breaks. Ironically, we are only truly in control of our lives when we relinquish all mortal control of our lives to the whim of the uncontrollable. We may not have absolute control of the events that shape our lives, but we have utter control how we shape the impacts of the events in our lives. We are then freed from the fear of the unknown and unmanageable when we do so. This freedom to fail, the freedom to chance, the freedom to regret, and most importantly the freedom to learn allows us to grow.
     Our reactions to change—be they wise or foolish—teach us about ourselves and help us to evolve and survive. Change evolves us from our tunneled perspective and allows us to experience ourselves and the complexities and randomness of life. Each unexpected change allows us to gain better knowledge of ourselves based on how each of us personally reacts. We improve upon our weaknesses in poor judgment that caused or preempted change, and we dote upon the judgments made right. Without change we would be ignorant to the realities of life, and we would, therefore, be weakened as we progressed further into the insurmountable unknowns dealt to us.
     We panic at the unknown and uncontrollable aspects that accompany life, but it is these very changes that allow us to survive. Adaptation is freedom from the fear of the obscurities of life, and adaptation is the ability to learn and to evolve. Fear not change. Change is but the opportunity; it is what one does with the change that one garners control of life and wisdom to move on.