Screw Hezbollah, I've got a queer to blog about!

I feel like such an E! news reporter. Let the superficiality wash over. What I'm talking about is the recent delve into the personal life of 90's boy-bander (banger), Lace Bass. Apparently he's gay. I mean come on, is anyone really shocked? I think it was blatantly obvious that at least one of the N*Sync members enjoyed the half naked synchronized gyrations more than the others. Personally, I'm looking forward to the N*Sync reunion tour with Lance Bass in drag singing Madonna and Cher. Now, that, I would pay tickets to see. Anyhoo, good for you, Lance; nice to know the cute one is gay.

In other 90's pop star news ...

I have just heard Justin Timberlake's new single, "SexyBack", and I love it. Given, the lyrics have about as much substance as a Brittany Spears interview, but who cares? It's much like gum: having no nutritional value whatsoever, but fun to chew anyways. I'm also pleased to see Justin has given up his seemingly never ending quest to be black. Good thing too. I swear, if I see him wear that damn fedora to the side one more time, I will personally take it off his head and burn it.

P.S. Unrelated question: What should I name my blog? Any suggestions?

Identity

How does one define one's self? Over the past years I have been questioning who I am, and what exactly is me. I have now come to realize pretty much who I am as an individual recently.

Looking back on the past-- this last year in particular --I have seen my follies and have learned upon those very instances. Such mistakes as the desire to "fit in," and even change myself as a person to do so. It was the drive to be what I thought was "cool" (I apologize if this sounds like a P.S.A.) that forced me to not be who I truly was. This being, hanging out with people who made me just feel awkward, dressing and acting like someone I wasn't, trying so hard to fit in that I changed things about myself as a person --all just to make people like me.

A majority of this feigning was my sexuality. As long as I can remember, I have known I was gay. Of course, I kept this as a deep secret for fear of in-acceptance and overwhelmingly: fear. This past year I, somewhat, came out as being bi-sexual. Honestly, looking back on this, I truly regret just not fully saying to everyone, "Hey, I'm GAY! Now, who's down for lunch?" I feel now that the reason I did not flat out come out was because some odd reasoning I thought well, if I say I'm bi-sexual, people will accept that. This worked out for about, oh, a week; then I began to realize that this was a lie, and that someday, somehow people had to know and I couldn't go on being something I wasn't. And, eventually, that day did come. Now most-- if not all --my friends and one family member know the truth.

I am very proud to say that after announcing this, I have, at last, felt liberated to be myself. I recently feel that I can think what I think, dress how I dress, listen to whatever the hell I want to, and be my own being mainly without fear or influences. If there's anything that I've learned from this past year, and from my past experiences, it's that to never be anyone but who I am, and, dammit Josh is who Josh is!

Project Awesome

Last night, alas, was the premiere episode of "Project Runway" on NBC. Not having Bravo-- which is Lifetime for gay men --I was ecstatic to finally see the show for the first time. The verdict: I love it and I intend to devote much of my free time watching it. Unfortunately, I was somewhat disappointed to not see some bitchy designer fight off a flaming queen for a piece of chiffon fabric, seeing as this is the first episode and everybody is pretty much hum cheery. Although, I do hope to see the hair pulling and name calling commence shortly. The show started off right away with the contestants moving into the house. Some of them are boring and I could care less about them (so far) but most are pretty damn entertaining. Some of my favorites are:
 

Laura- She kind of looks like a monster, but you have to appreciate any one who can turn a rug and some crap off a chandelier into this

Malan- He's an asshole snob who pretty much just said,"Ugh, it was so irritating. . ." or, "These people were so irritating. . ." I'm betting this guy slaps some bitch halfway through the season for breaking his Be-dazzler. I can always hope.

Kayne- Not terribly interesting. Although, you gotta root for the blatantly gay designer. Fabulous.

Vincent- Not really a favorite, but I had to put him here solely because of his whacked out basket hat. What the hell was he thinking?! Later on he tried to kiss up to the judges saying he didn't really want the hat there; when, the day before, he was planning on glue gunning a piece of rubber to it and thinking it was the best piece there. LIAR! Also, is it just me or does he look like Elton John?

Jeffery- This guy is awesome because he's jaded and bitter. What's not to love in a reality contestant? This said, his dress was a horrid piece of mish-mashed cloth that looks like something Courtney Love would wear after being found passed out in a New York City bathroom with a Crystal Meth pipe in one hand and a year's supply of Vicodin in the other.

 
The first challenge was to make women's wear out of anything they could tear through in their apartment. The end result was a chic New York Apartment transformed into what I would imagine Bobby Brown's house looks like. So, blah, blah, blah, a couple stitches and glue guns later the designers have their clothes ready. They do the whole runway face-off and the judges bash Elton John and Courtney Love's stylist for their ugly dresses. Finally, in the end, this chick is eliminated. Do I care? No. She wasn't entertaining anyways. And the show ends. All in all, good episode. I can't wait to see the cat fights that ensue during the next episodes when the designers have had three hours of sleep, there's only one sewing machine left, and some one's throwing a temper tantrum because some one else stole their lace accents. Dammit, that's good tv.

My free time is controlled by an Internet web log

Hm. What does it say about me that one of the things I've been obsessing over for the past two weeks is updating my blog? Well, I'm not sure but I can say that the reason why I have not posted recently is because I was gone; therefore, I did not quite have the capabilities to post. This post won't be a long winded post, seeing as I can not think of anything interesting to post about. In fact, I think I'll end this post here. I will spare you my incoherent ramblings about why I can't find the damn cd's I want anywhere or why Elizabeth Hasselbeck gets on my nerves and how I secretly wish Rosie O'Donnel eats her when she starts hosting (yes, I'm somewhat ashamed to admit I watch "The View"). Anyhoo, I hope to update on interesting stuff once said stuff happens.
 
note: I counted the word or form of the word "post" six times in one paragraph. My apologies.